When last we saw our heroes, they were playing at being villians. Villians, it turns out, get to sail with the pickles.
- Malaina is not enjoying herself in any way
Seiankornai: (and she just had a nice bath, too)
- Jessaila thinks this is a stupid idea and she’s going to murder the person who came up with this id… wait a minute…
The faux-raiders are bringing back a crate of wool, a crate of salt-water taffy, and a crate of anvil water to prove their raiding prowess. The drakes and Thurirl have already delivered the rest of the “loot” to the caravan, a couple towns upriver after they have appeard all convincingly cargoless a few times.
Durt should appreciate the anvil water anyhow.
Seiankornai: (what is anvil water?)
…keeping the ogres out of it is an interesting challenge, since that particular form of strong liquer is an ogre specialty and all.
Why any humans wanted it bad enough to ship it is beyond your knowing.
- Jessaila thinks gaunt elves have better taste than that!
Jessaila: ((even gaunt elves, rather.))
Dragonhawk: ((gaunt elves claim to make it /better/ but the definition of “better” seems to be a bit vague))
Dragonhawk: ((some of them drink it as though it WAS water, others won’t touch it…it depends on little on whether they’ve convinced themselves to actually buy into the whole “rebuilding our ancient empire” thing or whether they have to drink to keep from knowing they’re a dying race.))
- Isabis practices theatrical dialog
- Isabis hefts the crate of taffy and tries to get out the woanish for “It was like takign candy from babies.”
- Jessaila practices shadow puppetry to go with Isabis’s theatrical dialog.
Isabis: “It like stealing cactus from puppies!”
Seiankornai: (somehow I don’t think that’ll impress Durt))
- Malaina facepalms at the two of them
Isabis: (M) “…still not right, then?”
Jessaila: “Well… I’m not from that area, but I’ve no idea what a ‘cactus’ is.”
Ruk: (M) “It spike thing. Like caltrop that garden.”
Jessaila: “So… like a porcupine?”
Ruk: (W) “My tribe grow them in wall so animal not wander into village.”
Seiankornai: ((particularlly the ones that explode))
Isabis: (M) “…a caltrop that gardens?”
Ruk: “Yes, like porcupine, but plant. Different ones different size, different shape. All full of spines.”
Ruk: “…taste good with sausage and flatbread.”
- Jessaila pictures a thorny plant with a cute face.
- Jessaila shakes her head. “Guess I’ll just have to see it myself someday.”
Ruk: (W) “Tell school-woman she not have to take cactus from puppy, dog not like cactus.”
Ruk: (W) “Poke nose once, never go close again.”
- Jessaila translates.
- Seiankornai and Vari can be seen flying, way, way off in the distance. They are now passing you and will probably arrive an hour or so first.
Isabis: “Where did dogs come into…nevermind, just say it how it’s supposed to go again?”
Jessaila: W “Like taking candy from a baby.”
An hour sees that particular sentence added to Isabis’ Woanish phrasebook along with “A real job would be more fun” and a few choice warning phrases to look out for.
By then, you are docking and nobody wastes any time slinking off the ship in their best “sneaky bandit passenger” immitations – and getting as far from the smell of pickles as possible!
Thurirl has connected.
- Jessaila will not eat pickles for the next nine hundred and eighty-five hours.
Seiankornai: (With Vari and Thurirl) “So are you now going to sneak over to the others to find out when we should attack?”
- Isabis checks into the selected inn and orders a sandwich with NO PICKLES please thank you
- Jessaila also checks into the selected inn and, with her gaunt elf cover in mind, orders a vegetable, vegetable, and vegetable sandwich.
- Isabis eats sliced ham on pumpernickle
Isabis: “You know, you can get the salad without bread too.”
- Jessaila covets her neighbor’s sandwich.
- Malaina has a nice, meat stew…with no pickles, threatening bodily harm if there is even the whiff of pickle
Thurirl: “I could attempt a rendevous with our fellow conspirators, though it may prove difficult. Do you wish me to make the attempt?”
Seiankornai: “Of course I do, you’re the sneakiest and we need to know when to come in all heroic like.”
- Jessaila finally gives in to biology and acquires a cut of venison.
The ‘bandits’ settle into the dining area as conspicuously as you could want. The ogre subcontractors make a big stink about not being able to get cactus and sausage on flat bread but finally settle in with two orders of “whatever Grok’s having” and provide distraction for the rest of you (entirely without realizing it, of course, the best kind).
Ruk: “Grok th’Mighty, you eat cactus and sausage in your tribe?”
Thurirl: “Very well. I shall use all my abilities to achieve this task unnoticed.”
Jamshid par-Bahadur has connected.
- Thurirl leaves as quietly as he can, heading for the inn the others are staying at.
Jamshid par-Bahadur: ((greetings, sorry I’m late, and I won’t be able to stay long, but in a sentence or two what’s happening?))
Ruk: ((we’re landing, and making contact between the groups to set up the ‘assasination attempt’ on Durt))
Seiankornai: ((the “bandits” are at an inn, which Thurirl is going to try to contact them at (or at least nearby)))
Ruk: ((presumably to be followed shortly by said bit of martial play-acting))
- Isabis quietly pours her lousy ale out a window, and finds herself narrowly missing Thurirl
Isabis: “Huh. There’s a lizard-shaped shadow just out the window.”
- Malaina tries to peek over to see
- Thurirl taps on the window to be let in.
- Malaina opens up the window for him
Jessaila: ((Are we in a private room?))
Isabis: ((no, just one side of the tavern level of the inn))
Thurirl: ((open it for fresh air))
Isabis: ((The ogres have pretty much everyone’s attention, though))
Seiankornai: ((so? :P ;) ))
Nobody cares if the tenants open the window the rest of the way. Most of them are just trying to figure out if the ogres are going to avoid a bar fight long enough for them to eat, or if they should order ‘to go’
- Thurirl stays out of the light, keeping close to the window.
Thurirl: w “My apologies. It was difficult getting here unseen. I am fortunate few individuals consider the vertical.”
- Isabis (whispering) “Not a problem. We were just enjoying some pickle-free food anyway.” (loudly) “So, oh fearless leader of elves and tolerator of some others, when are we meeting with the employer again?”
- Malaina eats down her stew
- Jessaila says the time in a hauty fashion, with decent volume.
- Thurirl takes careful note.
- Isabis finishes her sandwich
- Jessaila finishes writing some notes on a plan, and then makes a paper airplane and jettisons it out the window.
Seiankornai: ((if Seian were there, he’d be wondering why they were talking so loudly :P ))
Isabis: (anyone else have anything important to do before the meething?)
- Thurirl snatches the plane as soon as it leaves the light spilling from the window.
Thurirl: w “My thanks. We will be there. I wish you luck on your endeavors.”
- Thurirl steals away with the plans, using a similar route to get back to the others.
Isabis: “Huh. I just hope they remember not to start anything before we get paid.”
- Isabis thought of it too late
At the given hour the next day, the ‘bandits’ get in line with their crates. Annoyingly, the plan here calls for them to tolerate the END of the line, so as to clear out the rest of the rabble before they start fighting.
Seiankornai: ((and what is the signal for the suarian and drakes’ heroic attack?))
Thurirl: ((a fair question))
Jessaila: ((The codeword is ‘Swordfish’.))
the usual mixture of ne’er-do-wells is signing on for banditry. Durt is doing the same grumpy but not convincing “cronist” act you observed before
Seiankornai: ((that is from something, but I do not recall what))
It seems to take forever but really its only about half an hour before the hopefulls clear out, and you are the only group returning for pay – a bit of a lucky break, perhaps – so soon enough it’s just you and Durt and Durt’s personal guardians
Durn: “So, whut you bring me today?”
- Jessaila describes the loot.
Seiankornai: ((death and destruction you fiend!!!))
- Durn looks over the crates and the list of other looted items
- Jessaila also describes the HARROWING fight with the guards.
Durn: “Huh. You fenced all this already? You have good contact on mainland, maybe, but dangerous to sell so close to where you take. Next time bring all, I help, much safer.”
- Durn laughs at the right places in the battle story, and hands over a pre-counted sack of gold
Durn: “Yeah, that sound like good fight. Just hope next time get better thing than candy, hehe.”
Durn: ((silver, my bad. Currency.))
Durt: ((aaand my name was misspelled. yay for typos 9.9 ))
- Thurirl lights a small rocket he “acquired” in town…
- Thurirl watches as it whistles off into the sky, then bursts into a colorful display… bright enough to see across town.
- Seiankornai burst forth from thge sky with a roar foreboading of death and destruction of all bandits!!!!
- Thurirl has set up in a sniper position and has his bow drawn by the time the signal fades.
- Vari also comes in roaring loudly
- Jessaila jumps in surprise. “What the!”
- Malaina almost yells at Vari for startling, but stops herself
- Seiankornai neglected to inform his friends exactly how he’d appear ;)
Durt: ((OK, so I’m noticing that a lot of people need to leave early, some quite soon…do you want to call it for the night here?))
Malaina: ((Yea, that is fine with me))
Thurirl: ((s’okay with me))
Seiankornai: ((we have our action scene all setup for next time and know what to do ;) ))
Dragonhawk: ((OK, then, next week: creating a job opening for yourselves the had way. We will begin with battle.))